07/14/2020
Sometimes I feel like this moniker, which is often applied to healthcare or other frontline people who interface with vulnerable populations such as the very old or very young (teachers, I’m looking at you!), was a part of my personality before I became a nurse. And honestly, I do feel like everyone has a responsibility to help watch out for each other—or at least they should… because if we did, maybe we’d all be a little safer. Sometimes, though, it also feels feels like a burden, which is why I’m sure so many people turn the proverbial blind eye towards unsafe and potentially life threatening situations.
But the question that raises for me— how long can the blind eye truly continue to not see. Does the spirit see what the mind refuses to acknowledge? Is witnessing dangerous situations and yet doing nothing worse for your health than just finally mustering up the courage and admitting that it takes very little time to call someone for help?
I am a person who calls. Who reports. I believe that the consequences of not getting involved will impact me, as well as the victims of whatever violence or harm I am intervening in.
This started when I was in middle school, I realize now. I noticed a girl in my gym class with lots of injuries under her clothes while changing, and I talked to the guidance counselor about it. That counselor then reinforced my instincts about those types of injuries and the types of things I should tell her about. So funny to think back to so long ago to my childhood doing that for a classmate when I probably should have been trying harder to protect myself. But that was a different type of threat I was dealing with.
When I first moved to the “big city” I was also the “naive” girl who called police about the homeless person passed out on the park bench. I would still do the same, but I’d probably try harder to wake him up first, and I now know who to call for homeless outreach before the police (if it’s not a medical emergency).
I’ve had to report suspected elder abuse at work in the hospital… I’ve had to report actual abuse, once a sad case where an elder lady living with her grandson feared for her life and told us she was being forced to use drugs. Patients being abused by their spouses have refused help. I have reported things to Child Protective Services that I definitely shouldn’t talk about.
One thing I always struggle with, however, is how to report dangerous but not criminal behavior of individuals in the community that I think may be a risk to themselves or others. In other words, how do I get help for an acutely mentally ill person acting erratically who may or may not also be abusing some sort of substances?
My general rule is avoid doing anything unless the situation seems immediately life threatening. Erratic behavior +/- mental illness +/- substance abuse +/- person of color is not a good fit to police + weapon + restraint + jail.
But I live in the Bay Area, which has loads of homelessness and with it substance abuse and mental illness. Actually these three things are so linked that it is sometimes hard to tell which came first in any specific individual’s life. Twice I have had to call 911 because I needed highway patrol (the famed CHiPs) to come help a homeless person running around on the Bay Bridge— and no, not the part with a pedestrian path! A person running across 5-6 lanes of traffic on a bridge suspended over an ocean. Someone’s gonna get killed…. Someone might even be trying for that end?
I always have to stop and think before I call, though. Is this necessary? Will this do more harm than good? Is there imminent danger to the person themself or others? If there is immediate danger, I have to call. Even if that means someone spends the night needlessly in jail. It’s still better than a 20 car pileup on a freeway.
Should you call? Are you turning a blind eye? Is someone you know being abused? Are you being abused? Don’t be silent about it. Don’t let domestic violence just happen. Our silence about it perpetuates it. The same with violence against children, the elderly, the ill— whether physical or mental. Take a chance and use your voice. Now that we have learned the damage that silence causes, let us not continue to be silent about these issues. About black lives! About women’s lives! About children’s lives! About the lives of our elders and the mentally ill!
Resources:
National Alliance for Mental Illness
Project Homeless Connect Resources (San Francisco)
How to report suspected child abuse (federal)
National Domestic Abuse Hotline
National Center in Elder Abuse
National Sexual Assault Hotline
